Tag Archive for 'mary milan'

500th post!

I had been putting off posting what was to be my 500th post for weeks, months, (years? gasp) until I found something worthy to write about.  Inspiration never truly struck so I’m posting a little ditty I wrote for The Jewish Federation’s Fed Up with Hunger initiative, which originally appeared on their Give Life Meaning blog.

maslows_hierarchy_clear
There were exactly three requirements at the college I attended – take a freshman literature class, a foreign language and a quantitative (math) class. My college must have invented fuzzy math since it allowed you to fulfill the quantitative requirement by taking psychology, such as I did. Being the math whiz that I am, I still almost failed the course. Not only did the rudimentary statistics elude me, so did the habit of going to class. It’s fitting that my wife is a PhD in psychology.

I was talking to the Dr. Missus about Fed Up with Hunger and she mentioned Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. According to her, eating and other essential human needs like breathing and drinking make up the base of Maslow’s hierarchy. This base level must be satisfied before higher-order activities in human life can be achieved – you know, the things that make up a civil society like morality, creativity, spontaneity, acceptance of facts, self-esteem, friendship, family, so on and so forth. Forget her smart talk, the layman’s translation is: the Hierarchy is like psychological Jenga; if you take out the lower blocks, you lose.

This is why I’m Fed Up with Hunger. Hunger deprives the people suffering from it – and the society as a whole – of their potential.

However, since nobody is starving in the streets, hunger in the first world is sort of an opaque problem. If you’re a busy person with a job and you and your family are lucky enough to not be directly affected by hunger and food insecurity, it can be difficult to really be fed up with hunger in a world so full of food.  In fact, food is so overabundant, we waste a full third of the food we produce, so I can see how an appeal to end hunger might not really connect and hit you where you live. 

But it does.  And in a big way.   

If you are a parent, your child likely attends school with children who are food insecure. In LAUSD, about 3 out of 4 children qualify for the free-and-reduced lunch program. As studies show, hungry children are less attentive, meaning they have more difficulty learning, and as they are more disruptive, they also impede the learning of their your kids. Also, hunger and malnutrition are contributing factors to childhood obesity, which in Los Angeles is reaching epidemic numbers. In L.A. County, more than 1 in 5 children in the 5th, 7th and 9th grades are obese .

If you are a local business leader, you are losing out on $500 million of annual economic purchasing power in the hands of your customers because Los Angeles County’s participation in the Food Stamps program is only at 50%. While it’s true that Food Stamps can only be used to purchase food and other essentials, they generate over $1 billion of local economic activity annually, so even if food retail is not the business you are in, you still get the rippling economic benefits of the best fiscal stimulus the federal government can provide. Furthermore, you are footing part of the $5.8 billion in annual lost productivity due to hunger and malnutrition issues in Los Angeles County

If you are an environmentalist, wasting food is exactly like wasting resources like land, water and sunlight. Annually, over 100 billion pounds of edible food (1/3 of our country’s total food production) is not eaten, which is equivalent to wasting 10 trillion gallons of water a year. That amount of food waste, which could more than adequately feed our nation’s hungry, is like wasting the amount of water in the Hoover Dam every year. Currently, only 2.5% of all food waste is recycled. The rest of the 97.8% sits in landfills creating methane tons and tons of gas. By volume, food waste is both the largest contributor of water waste and methane gas production in the world.

If you are a labor leader, protecting workers’ rights also means protecting workers’ ability to work. Hunger and malnutrition effectively short circuit peoples’ wills to work, making them less productive, unfocused, and sick more often.

If you are a local elected official, you should very be fed up, especially in a time of such fiscal difficulty. Because of L.A.’s low participation rate in the Food Stamp program, you are losing out on around $10,000,000 in local tax revenue and $65,000,000 at the state level.

If you are a federal elected official, you should be horrified that the total economic cost to the United States of hunger and malnutrition is conservatively estimated at $90 billion a year. The cost of ending hunger is about $25 billion. I’m no mathlete, but even I know that that saves around $65 billion, give or take. Meanwhile, as we are so consumed by the health care debate, it’s important to note that it will be impossible to rein in the rising cost of healthcare without taking a look at the things we eat.

If you are in the military/law enforement, you are a natural ally to strengthen the nutritional value of school lunches because you have noticed that 3 out of 4 adults of military age are physically unfit to serve. Close readers of history will remember that the National School Lunch program began in 1946 as a measure of national security. President Truman started the program after reading a study that showed many young men had been rejected from the World War II draft due to medical conditions caused by childhood malnutrition. We have a similar problem now as the military has been lowering its fitness and BMI index requirements for new troops due to our expanding national waistline. If we don’t appropriately address the food our young children eat, we will not have a military fit enough to protect our country nor a police force fit enough to protect out neighborhoods.

If you are a health care provider, you are seeing many more diet-related illnesses than ever before – and that’s only of the people who can come in to see you because they have health insurance. As you know, hunger and malnutrition lead to a host of preventable diseases and illnesses. Furthermore, the health care costs of malnutrition and obesity in California is over $20.7 billion annually and Los Angeles County accounts for more than a quarter of that cost, spending $6 billion a year.

If you are a concerned member of a community, neighborhood council, or homeowners’ association, you are likely fed up with crime in your neighborhood. Good news! Hard science has proven a link between poor nutrition and violent aggression (Joseph Hibbeln’s “Seafood Consumption and Homicide Mortality”, Bernard Gesch’s pioneering research on Omega-3’s, and USC’s Adrian Raine, with whom the Dr. Missus almost studied under, who is continuing the great work in this field) and social science has proven that in communities and neighborhoods where people are fed, crime goes down because desperation decreases. Rather than being fed up at the result of poverty and hunger, you should be fed up with their root causes and do something about them because when they fester, they lead to declining property values and crime.

If you are a person of faith, feeding the hungry is central to your faith. Whether you ascribe to the concept of tikkun olam in Judaism, compassion in Christianity, zakat in Islam, and d?na in Buddhism, you are doing God’s work by helping those who are not as fortunate.

I could go on but I think you get the picture. No matter who you are, you are affected by hunger and food insecurity. Getting beyond that, more than anything else, ending hunger is just the moral, right thing to do. Please join us in this fight.

My Last Supper

chefs_03.jpg 

With a script deadline looming, it was a wonder that Mary Milan and I had the opportunity to be out and about last night to celebrate her successful defense of her dissertation. 

Yes, that’s right, Mary Milan is a doctor now, or actually she’s an internship short of being a doctor but fuck, who’s counting?  The school?  Feh.  The CA board of psychologists?  Feh.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s close enough.  Recognize.  Respeck.  (Yes, I have been watching Ali G re-runs late at night on HBO).

Anyway, the reason for this quick guest post on my own blog is that while we were out, we found My Last Supper, the foodie coffee table book containing portraits of 50 great chefs and their answers to five simple questions:

What would be your last meal on earth?

What would be the setting for the meals?

What would you drink with your meal?

Who would be your dining companions?

Who would prepare the meals?

As you might imagine, they range from the predictable (Anthony Bourdain, who wrote the intro and also poses naked with a strategically placed femur, says he’d eat bone marrow with his buds Eric Ripert and Gordon Ramsay), to the whimsical (Daniel Boloud answers that he’d eat whatever was in season, whatever Alain Ducasse would cook for him, or simply a foie gras terrine, lobster, pheasant, partridge and a cheese course). 

It got us thinking, what would be our last meals?

Mary Milan: Ice cream, cheese and nuts.

Me: Beef stew noodle soup, where “beef stew” means “offal,” specifically tendon, pancreas, tripe, intestines and other connective tissue that’s been stewed in a rich, peppery, dark, blood-and-marrow-thickened, star anise flavored broth, garnished with a steamed baby bok choy stem.  Yum. 
 
What about you?  What would be your last meal?
   

eff you media 2: the electric boogaloo

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I’ve still got some smoke coming out of my ears on this whole media thing.  If this is true for you and you haven’t been following Glenn Greenwald on Salon, you’ve been missing some good stuff.

Here, he recounts an exchange between Chris Matthews and Tom Brokaw regarding Tiresia’s error in predicting Oedipus would  claw his eyes out the polls’ error in proclaiming Clinton’s loss.

MATTHEWS: Tom, we’re going to have to go back and figure out the methodology, I think, on some of these [polls].

BROKAW: You know what I think we’re going to have to do?

MATTHEWS: Yes sir?

BROKAW: Wait for the voters to make their judgment.

MATTHEWS: Well what do we do then in the days before the ballot? We must stay home, I guess.

BROKAW: No, no we don’t stay home. There are reasons to analyze what they’re saying. We know from how the people voted today, what moved them to vote. You can take a look at that. There are a lot of issues that have not been fully explored during all this.

But we don’t have to get in the business of making judgments before the polls have closed. And trying to stampede in effect the process.

Look, I’m not just picking on us, it’s part of the culture in which we live these days. I think that the people out there are going to begin to make judgments about us if we don’t begin to temper that temptation to constantly try to get ahead of what the voters are deciding.

As Greenwald points out:

But Matthews’ response to Brokaw is perfect in several ways.  The very idea of discussing issues, examining the candidates’ positions, or even analyzing voter preferences does not and cannot even occur to Chris Matthews. That — the most elementary nuts and bolts of standard, healthy journalism — is way, way beyond the scope of what our media stars are able to do or want to do.

Here, Greenwald writes about the role of political reporters.  This one hits me in the gut because it speaks directly to the unreported Edwards bounce nationally.

[According to the Rasumussen daily tracking poll] Edwards — who, just one week ago, was 10 points behind Obama nationally among Democrats — is now only two points behind him. Less than a month ago, he trailed Clinton by 29 points. Now it’s 13 points. He is, by far, at his high point of support nationwide. Apparently, the more exposure Democratic voters get to Edwards and his campaign positions — and that exposure has been at its high point during his surge — the more they like him. By contrast, Obama is more or less at the same level of support nationally, even having decreased some since his Iowa win (for most of mid-Decemeber, he was at 27-28 points).

Yet to listen to media reports, Edwards doesn’t even exist. His campaign is dead. He has no chance. They hate Edwards, hate his message, and thus rendered him invisible long ago, only now to declare him dead — after he came in second place in the first caucus of the campaign.

There are certainly horse-race counterarguments to all of this. This is only one poll. Obama is ahead in New Hampshire, where his support has increased, etc. etc.

But I’m not focusing on the accuracy of horse-race predictions here, but instead, on the fact that the traveling press corps endlessly imposes its own narrative on the election, thereby completely excluding from all coverage plainly credible candidates they dislike (such as Edwards) while breathlessly touting the prospects of the candidates of whom they are enamored. Their predictions (i.e., preferences and love affairs) so plainly drive their press coverage — the candidates they love are lauded as likely winners while the ones they hate are ignored or depicted as collapsing — which in turn influences the election in the direction they want, making their predictions become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Why the hell do we let the media do this to us? 

Because we’ve let the major news media and all of their celebrity pundits, anchors, journalists, etc. become experts and we are nothing if not a nation obsessed with abnegating our responsibilities to consider, choose, and act in making decisions, instead allowing, nay, thirsting for “experts” to tell us what to do.   

Mary Milan and I were actually talking about this very subject last night.  It was in the context of Dr. Phil being called in by the Spears family to consult on the Britney. 

You have a family in deep, deep trouble and of all the fuckers you call, you call a TV psychologist?  That’s the craziest damn thing I ever heard.   

It has now caused a Spears-McGraw family feud.

But Dr. Phil is ”an expert” in this field.  Is your kid acting crazy?  Dr. Phil knows what to do and he will not only cure the kid on TV, he will cure your family too. 

You don’t know what to get for Christmas?  Wait for the annual Oprah Christmas list.

Don’t know what to eat?  Here’s a meal replacement bar with all your essential vitamins and minerals.

It’s sad.  We’re a confused nation because we’ve let experts obfuscate our essential, inborn, precious, guiding light – our common sense. 

And it makes me mad.  These fuckers depend on us to be confused and scared.  We’re better than that.     
 
The next time someone says to me, “Well, Oprah says…” without a trace of irony, I’m going to slap that fucker in the face because it’s time for tough love.  

snowmobiling is fun and exciting

Every year, we have a transportation mishap around the holidays. In 2005, we got lost in Brooklyn (actually it was early 2006 but I’m counting it at 2005). In 2006, we drove from Chicago to Wisconsin through the snowstorm of 2006 without the aid of windshield wipers. This year, our mishap was more innocuous, more immediately dangerous, and happened over two days and on two snowmobiles.

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of driving a snowmobile (I was one of them), they are like motorcycles except dropped low to the ground, with tracks and ski sleds instead of wheels. They go fast speed, leave the driver unprotected and for an extra zing of the danger hot sauce, they kind of look like toys.

With the “shit-ton” of snow (I’ve now learned that “shit-ton” is equivalent to 15 inches in less than 24 hours) we got, the farm was basically just one big snowdrift with so much snow piled up, that you had no idea how much far it was down to the earth.

Mary Milan and I were told two things before we went out: don’t get the snowmobiles stuck and try not to get lost because it was getting dark. I took my cell phone just in case of the latter.

We got dressed in warm clothes – coveralls, sweaters, and coats – hopped on our snowmobiles, hit the throttle and were off, speeding through the snow squall with the bitter wind biting at our faces.

Then about 20 yards ahead, Mary Milan came to a dead stop. I slowed down on the approach just in time to see her get off the snowmobile to walk toward me. I took out my cell phone and snapped this picture:

Her snowmobile was stuck.

We tried everything – lifting it, rocking it, pulling it – but we couldn’t get it out. Our only hope was to ride my snowmobile back to the homestead a half mile west to get some help. However, since I was right behind her, I was in the same snow track which got her stuck.

We twisted the steering handle all the way to the right and gunned it. And it went. It fact, it sort of flew out of control and crashed into another snow bank. It too was now stuck.

At this point, Mary Milan fell. I’d to think it was out of despair but in actuality, I think it was just that she stepped in a thigh high snowdrift.

It was so cold that the battery in my cell phone began to freeze. When we left the house, it was on full charge. By the time we were stuck, it beeped the low battery warning.

I began to understand how people die in these weather conditions.

Though it was getting dark, we could still see the house, about a half mile away, through the storm.

We started walking.

It was a blast riding through the zero degree snow squall but walking through it was no fun at all. You do not want.

It was dreadful.

We finally made it back and made her brother and brother-in-law go back out to unstuck the snowmobiles, which they were more than happy to oblige. It took them maybe 10 minutes to hoof it out there in the dark, unstuck the vehicles, and ride back. They’re fucking outdoorsy and shit.

The next day, as if we didn’t have enough, Mary Milan and I decided to go out for another snowmobile ride. This time, we were armed with the new nugget of snowmobile training, “when in doubt, gun it.”

And it helped.  We raced through the Milan woods, ducking low hanging tree branches, and sped up and down the long roads near her house.  Mary Milan hit about 70 while I was only brave enough to go 50 before the vehicle felt like it would hurtle me back to the future, or at least straight into a hospital room.

On our last run, we sped across one of the large fields that in the spring is used to grow rows of corn, now a snow dune, skipping over the surface.  It was fun.

Then, up ahead, I saw Mary Milan shoot hit a snow bank, and just barely land on the road.  I saw that I was approaching the same snow bank, which because of all the plowing, took the shape of a ramp.

Five words came to mind, “When in doubt, gun it” and shit if I wasn’t “in doubt.”

So I gunned it.

I shot into the air, during which, I thought I entered the Matrix.  As it all slowed, I was sure I was going to get hurt, it was just a choice of staying on and getting hurt really bad or jumping off the vehicle and getting hurt “less badly”.

I decided to jump off but as I prepared to use the bullet time to get into a  jump position, the vehicle landed the gravel road, front end first, then back.  We had made it.

Not quite believing it, I did a quick self check and with the exception of banging my right leg on the snowmobile upon landing, it was about as perfect of a landing as it could have been.

Mary Milan was up ahead looking back certain that she would watch me crash.  “What did you want me to do?  I couldn’t warn you,” she later said.

As it turned out, she had a much more dangerous landing.  Not expecting the ramp to shoot her into the air, her snowmobile actually began flipping as she neared landing.  With her dancer’s grace (and quick ass thinking), she stuck her right leg out and pushed off from the ground as the vehicle came down, righting the landing.

So yeay, we’re still alive!

And yeay, this is our 500th post!

dispatches from the tundra

We’re on the Farm for the holidays. All week we’ve been hearing snow storm warnings about the big storm that was heading our way. Around the dinner table, the metric unit “shit ton” was brought into play. Last night, it started snowing. This morning, over 10 inches of snow fell. Mom and Dad Milan had to shovel their way to the barn this morning. The brothers Milan are out there right now trying to plow their road. I love this. Not because of the snow, necessarily – this means that they can’t go to church and therefore cannot put Mary Milan and me in the bind of having to turn them down. Yahoo! Snow Day!

Today is also acutally Christmas for us. Since Mary Milan and I are traveling back to Hellay on the 26th and Christmas day around here is already over-programmed as it is, the family moved the big present opening day up a few days. This was a little tricky because Littlest Milan is only 5 and still believes in Santa Claus. We told her that we wrote Santa a letter asking him to come a little earlier. Then Littlest told us about how angels are real, how you can’t talk to them, how they have sparkles on their wings and how they sprinkle the sparkles on their wings on the ground to help make flowers. I kept wanting to tell her that she wasn’t talking about angels, she was talking about bees.

T-minus eight minutes to church and there is no indication as to whether or not anybody is going. Mom Milan said that perhaps the priest might not be able to make it since he lives in Athens. I don’t know why I think that’s so funny but I do. Hilarious, even.

In any event, if we don’t go, then that means it’s time for Christmas breakfast around here: creamy scrambled eggs, cheesy hash browns, pancakes, ham, sausages, and all sorts of pastries. It’s a cornucopia of tasty breakfast foods. I can’t wait.

Merry Christmas, bitches!

brooms!

I dug up the issue of the Vassar alumni magazine that featured the emergence of real life quidditch. There is an action shot of one of assholes running across a field with a broom. He was in the heat of a contest. The look on his face was intense, focused; the game was on the line and he was in the zone.

Now that I see it, it’s as plain as day but at the time, my brain could not process “quidditch” and defaulted to lacrosse which is what I convinced myself it was. Even when Mary Milan brought it to my attention, I still couldn’t understand what was going on.

I think I said, “Yeah, Vassar kids play lacrosse. So what?”

She left it alone because as a psychologist, she must have known the sensitive place my psyche was in.

On Sunday, Mary Milan TiVo’d Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azerbaijan to mock me.

Yes, she has a pretty good sense of humor and she will see my rollicking sense of humor when I delete that shit.

do you find muggles in the mug?

There are a number of reasons why I’m not super proud of having gone to Vassar however none of those reasons can eclipse this.

Mary Milan originally brought it to my attention a few weeks ago when she thumbed through a recent issue of the monthly almuni magazine but I must have blocked it out.

Seriously, if you’re in any office that deals with past students or future students and you get a hot tip that the kids are playing Quidditch in Noyes Circle, you gotta supress that fucking shit, NOT promote it.

It’s just not shit you want people to know because neither alums nor prospective students will want to associate with a school that offers quidditch as a sanctioned NCAA D-III intramural sport.

It’s like an outbreak of Ebola; you must contain and kill.

For all you fuckers out there saying that it’s not any different than ultimate frisbee, shut the fuck up. Those bitches are running around with brooms.

Brooms!

BROOMS!

My head is going to explode.




Farm Bill
can a grassroots movement seed a new economy? FriendsOfSlowMoney.com