Mary Milan and I are in New York.  Appalled by the food selection at the upper east side D’Agostino’s, we went to the Whole Foods at Union Square to get our fill of organic leaves,  twigs, and rotten fruit hand harvested by the local, indigenous peoples The Bronx and Far Rockaway.  We were totally fucking unprepared for the circus that is Whole Foods in New York City.It wasn’t the prices or the selection or the lack of live lobsters that shocked us.  It was the immense, fucking crowd.  I wish there was a word I could use to fully express how crowded it was.  CROWDED doesn’t do it justice, uber-crowded sounds like a German crustacean, wicked crawdad is a Boston crustacean.  It was like shopping in a subway station at the height of rush hour.Walking through Times Square at the height of tourist season.It was hell.It’s fucking Whole Foods.  They give lottery tickets there? I’ve been known to lay down in the middle of supermarkets because I get depressed or vexed by choice anxiety but today, I wanted to lay down in the middle of Whole Foods to to trip those hip, hippie, organic, gogi-berry eating, noni drinking Manhattan fuckers.  I left with a headache and with a new appreciation of our Whole Foods, fine purveyor of feculent fruits, back in Hellay.Yet, what was crazy to me was that nobody else in there seemed to have the jackhammer headache that I had.  They browsed and invaded my personal space with calm, easy smiles. Later, I jokingly said to Joey Jerusalem that there must be something in the water here that tranquilizes these fuckers.Apparently, there is.  Sixteen pharmaceuticals, actually, including estrogen, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers, and tranquilizers, from all the unprocessed prescription drugs that these fuckers pee out.  Mmm, refreshing! 

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