Hillary won Texas and Ohio. This means that there, seriously, will be blood for the next seven weeks until Pennsylvania and quite possibly until Puerto Rico.

I could do a Keith Olbermann and exclaim that Hillary drinks Obama’s milkshake. She drinks it up.

But no, since I no longer have a pony in this race, I’ll do Olbermann one better. Here is the Democratic primary as rendered in the most iconic scenes from There Will be Blood.

Scene 1: Hillary Clinton speaks at one of her rallies.

HRC: Ladies and gentlemen? Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for visiting with us this evening. Now, I’ve traveled across half our state to be here and to see about this land. Now, I daresay some of you might have heard some of the more extravagant rumors about what my plans are; I just thought you’d like to hear it from me. This is the face. There’s no great mystery. I’m a politican, ladies and gentlemen. I have numerous concerns spread across this state and our country. Now, this work that we do is very much a family enterprise - I work side by side with my wonderful husband, W.J. - I think one or two of you might have met him already. Family means children. Children means education. So wherever we set up camp, education is a necessity, and we’re just so happy to take care of that. These children are the future that we strive for and so they should have the very best of things. Now something else, and please don’t be insulted if I speak about this - bread. Let’s talk about bread. Now to my mind, its an abomination to consider that any man, woman or child in this magnificent country of ours should have to look upon a loaf of bread as a luxury. We’re going to create jobs here. Jobs mean wages, wages mean money. We’re going to create jobs here where before it just simply was impossible. You’re going to have more money than you’ll know what to do with. Bread will be coming right out of your ears, ma’am. New roads. Agriculture. Employment, education. These are just a few of the things we can offer you, and I assure you ladies and gentlemen, that if we do find delegates here, and I think there’s a very good chance that we will, this community of yours will not only survive, it will flourish.

Scene 2: Bill and Hillary are sitting in their living room, drinking the blood of the working man.

Hillary Clinton: Are you an angry man, Bill?
Bill Clinton: About what?
HRC: Are you envious? Do you get envious?
BC: I don’t think so. No.
HRC: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
BC: That part of me is gone…working and not succeeding - all my failures has left me…I just don’t care.
HRC: Well, if it’s in me, it’s in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking I want to earn enough votes that I can get away from everyone.
BC: What will you do about Mark Penn?
HRC: I don’t know. Maybe it will change. Does your demographic come back to you? I don’t know. Maybe no one knows that. A doctor might not know that.
BC: Where is his mother?
HRC: I don’t want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people. I don’t need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I’ve built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Bill…to have you here gives me a second breath. I can’t keep doing this on my own…
Scene 3: HRC stands over Barack Obama on Wednesday morning:

HRC: We have a loser with us here, who wishes for salvation. Obama, are you a loser?
Barack Obama: Yes.
HRC: The Lord can’t hear you, Obama. Say it to him. Go ahead and speak to him, it’s alright.
BO: Yes.
HRC: Down on your knees and up to him. Look up to the sky and say it.
BO: What do you want me to say?
HRC: Barry, you have come here and you have brought good and wealth, but you have also brought your bad habits as a backslider. You’ve lusted after hope, and you have abandoned your cigarettes. Your cigarettes that you depended on for that speech giving voice of yours, you have abandoned all because you are sick and you have sinned. So say it now - I am a smoker.
BO: I am a smoker.
HRC: Say it louder- I am a smoker!
BO: I am a smoker.
HRC: Louder, Barry. I am a smoker!
BO: I am a smoker.
HRC: I am sorry Lord!
BO: I am sorry Lord.
HRC: I want the delegates!
BO: I want the delegates.
HRC: You have abandoned your smokes!
BO: I have abandoned my smokes.
HRC: I will never backslide!
BO: I will never backslide.
HRC: I have abandoned my smokes!
[BO glares at him]
HRC: Say it… say it!
[BO mumbles]
HRC: Say it louder… say it louder!
BO: I’ve abandoned my smokes! I’ve ABANDONED MY CIGARETTES! I’VE ABANDONED BY CIGARETTES!

Also, the folks at Wonkette deserve a medal for their coverage of Super Tuesday II: Electric Boogaloo. My favorites have got to be Live Blogging Obama’s Latest Loser Speech (tagged need a cigarette) and Tim Russert Eats all of his boogers (appropriately tagged Politics of Fear).

Settle in kiddies, this is going to be a long one.

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