And here I thought my LOLoj’s weekend in Vegas post was epic. These motherfuckers set up a wiki to LOLcat the motherfucking Bible! It’s the greatest story ever fucking told. Pure. Unadulterated. Genius.
GENESIS 1
1. Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, & he maded the skiez & da earths, but he did not eated it.
2. The earths wus witout shapez & wus dark & scary & stufs, & he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3. & Ceiling Cat sayz, i can has light? & light wuz.
4. & Ceiling Cat sawed teh light, to sees stufs, & speraratered the light form dark & stufs but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark & not tripz ovr nethin.
Book of Psalms, Psalm 23 nigga:
1. So teh Ceiling Cat iz mah coverr an me doan wants.
2. Oh hai teh Ceiling Cat made me sit on gras an hez liek nice waters r ovar thar.
3. So He makez mah soul go all fresh an he sez gud cookiez r ovar her cuz iz nice 4 him.
4. When I wuz walkin thru dis scary valley Im sayin “me feelz no evil” cuz teh Ceiling Cat iz beside me pokin mah side wif hiz stix an it mak me so kumfy.
5. So teh Ceiling Cat make me cookiez when Im wif all mah bad frenz and he grease me up an I sez “O mah cup iz full.”
6. So dat nice things an luck chase me evrydai an teh Ceiling Cat gimie his houz.
Man, I never thought I’d be quoting scripture:
Revelation 13
1. I r looking in teh watar and oh noes! A monstar cumz out. He has severn hedz.
2. Teh monstar wuz not a puppeh or a moocow or a kitteh but teh puppeh are giveing him powurz.
3. Sum1 hit teh monstur in teh hed and he getz bettar. OMFG.
4. Evry1 thinkz teh monstar iz cool bcuz he r haveing powurz. Any1 stolez hiz cheezburgerz? No wai!
5. Teh monstar sai he dident liek Ceiling Cat and he also sed he wuz clevar. He r haveing powurz 4 yeerz an yeerz.
6. Then he sed he h8z Ceiling Cat! OMFG.
7. Teh monstur wuntz 2 taek teh cheezburgerz form Ceiling Cat.
The LOLcat bible is a neverending source of happiness
John 3:16
15. coz if u beleeves ur not gon be ded! Eternal lifes, u can has it!
16. So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u my only son and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?’
17. Cuz teh Ceiling Cat not snd hiz son 2 take all yur cookies, but so u cud maek moar cookies 4EVAR!”
I’m going to LOLcat my wedding vows.