Just in time for some lazy, midweek blogging (allowing me to further procrastinate writing that post about meeting Edwards), Jamie tagged me in the 8 Random Facts Meme. Here are the rules (and like her, I will be breaking the last one):

1) Post these rules before you give your facts.
2) List eight random facts about yourself.
3) At the end of your post, choose (tag) eight people and list their names, linking to them.

Here goes:

1. I was born on an island. Taipei, Taiwan, to be exact.

2. I don’t have a middle name. I have a Chinese name which is simply a translation of my English name. My parents weren’t terribly creative. This may explain my predilection for pennames and monikers.

3. The JHK moniker was actually given to me. Way before Philip John Clapp became Johnny Knoxville, Conrad Connecticut had a dream where he was held hostage by a bunch of Euro-trash criminals a la Die Hard. He was interrogated by two German guys in black turtlenecks, one yelling at him in Cantonese and the other holding cue cards that read, “Where is Johnny Hong Kong?”

4. When I moved to New York after a year of slinging hash in Beantown, I was offered jobs with chefs Rocco di Spirito and Jean-Georges Vongerichten.  I accepted both and then blew them off on my respective start days, choosing instead to lay on the couch to watch TV.  If memory serves, there were particularly compelling Jerry Springers on those days.

S’all good though. Not that I regret it or anything. It probably saved me from being humiliated on The Restaurant or being on Top Chef or Hell’s Kitchen.

5. I once stayed up for 68 hours straight. For real staying up. Not a wink of sleep. I had a documentary to shoot, a play to direct, a first draft on a collection of short stories to turn in, two mid-term papers and two fellowship applications due that week.

It was like a 68-hour version of the cocaine fueled errand day scene in GoodFellas. Like Henry Hill got stopped at the doctor’s office, I even stopped to give blood. I finally passed out in the rehearsal of my play. The producer had to wake me up. I don’t really remember what I said to wrap up but the next thing I remember was being in bed and sleeping for the next day. I was kind of pissed that I didn’t make across the barrier to be legally insane. That would have been cool.

6. I cried at Elvis’ grave. Despite telling myself “Don’t cry when you get to the grave, don’t cry when you get to the grave” all through the Graceland tour, I totally cried. Whatever. It’s Elvis. If you DON’T cry at his grave, there’s something wrong with you.

7. For short bursts (under 8 minutes at a time), I can generate .5 horsepower but can sustain .4 horsepower over more extended periods of time. The Johnny Hong Kong engine is powered by 1/2 a horse!

For comparison’s sake, 1/2 HP is equal to 372 watts which is equivalent to the power of the Waring JE2000 Heavy Duty Juicer!

8. You know those shows, “I Should Be Dead” and the like? Mine would be “I Should Still Be in High School.” Not only did I not pass the school board mandated swim test (yes, it’s true, I can’t swim) but I failed high school advanced algebra. Twice. Once on the record and once off.

The first (and only official) D was the one blemish on my otherwise spotless record. None of the colleges I applied to seemed to care so long as I retook the class and pass it with a C. When I retook the class in an independent study, I just barely failed the final exam.

The teacher, a then 24-year old kid, fresh out of Hopkins who all the girls thought was hot, asked me, “How important is this? Will you seriously not get into college if you don’t pass?”

I nodded.

“Did you study hard?”

“Yup. Hella.”

“That must be good for five points.” He added a “+5″ on my best and changed the D+ to a C-.

I tag the first eight people who read this. Leave a link to your blog or leave 8 random facts about you in the comments.

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