As many of you know, the Pilot That Just Won’t Land landed a few weeks ago. And now after such a trying time in the air, he’s being called fat.

The Pilot’s going into Fox in two weeks and since the media is weight obsessed, is it any surprise that they’re saying he’s heavy?

Fox Network is requiring that the submission be 60-pages max and the Pilot is 68. According to Fox, he’s got some junk in the trunk. According to me, baby’s got back.

At his regular fighting weight, the Pilot is able to shake its ass and watch itself. At a lighter weight, I’m afraid he’ll have nothing to shake, nor the strength to monitor himself.

He’s gotta cut weight. 8 pages or 12% of his body weight. So it’s off to the steam room to ride the airdyne. Jumping rope and running dressed in sweatshirts and plastic bags. Spitting into cups. Eating nothing but egg whites. According to Ultimate Fighters, boxers and wrestlers cutting weight is the worst. So, if you happen to see anyone running around Hollywood, screaming obscenities and waving a gun around, relax, it’s only Martin Lawrence.

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