johnnyhongkong says…

The Year of the Pig has not been tasty for Nikki Nagasaki.

First, over the weekend, as she was in the final push to finish her hottt TV pilot, her computer crashed and she lost all of the work she had done that day.

Then on Monday, after working all of Sunday to redo everything she had done on Saturday, she lost her memory key which contained every. single. thing. she. has. ever. written.

Worse yet, it was stolen. From an internet cafe. In Hollywood.

As Ricky Tokyo says, “every writer’s nightmare.”

Ever the writer, she sees the dramatic possibilities in her misery:

This struggling screenwriter is staking out internet cafes trying to get over his writer’s block and make a few bucks at the same time…He almost hits delete on everything (so he can sell the thumbdrive for $5) but finds a script he just can’t stop reading. He claims it’s his and sells it making millions.

In a romantic comedy twist, he also finds a photo of the writer he stole from and falls in love.

He finds her, steals her from her fiance. And after she gives everything up for him, she finds out he’s a stupid petty theft moron.

In a thriller twist, she kills him.

In a horror twist, she kills him slowly.

You might be able to tell but she’s been watching a whole lot of Asian horror. Could Nikki Nagasaki become the new Takahasi Miike? Could Audition II: The Pitch be on the horizon? A documentary perhaps? Let this be a warning to whoever stole Nikki Nagasaki’s memory key: if you meet a Japanese girl who cozies up to you, be on the lookout for potato sacks.

Here are some steps you can take to secure your USB drive in the event it gets lost or stolen.