So that crazy choking, acid refluxy thing happened again at work. And as I feared, another awkward situation happened. As I was trying to settle the acid from refluxing with the heart of palm that I had just swallowed, a colleague of mine just had to come over to my cubicle to tell me to go to the New York Times to see the wedding announcement for California’s most famous CPA/JDate User/comb dispenser/U.S. Congressman.

Of course social grace made me smile and nod politely while trying not to vomit in my mouth as she talked about how funny it was that he was getting married.

As she talked, I planned out various diversionary tactics and escape routes if I could no longer choke back whatever I was refluxing. For example, I figured I could throw the foam apple stress reliever thingy I have on my desk and when she looked away and/or froze from the sudden movement, I could duck down and vomit. Or I could leap up and run to the unoccupied office behind me and vomit in that wastebasket.

Luckily, she noticed that I was getting all red and choking back tears and said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you choke, it’s some funny stuff. Seriously, you must go to the New York Times after you stop choking.”

I smiled, politely excused myself and ran into the bathroom and totally threw up a heart of palm and bile.

Yum.

Anyway, the wedding announcement is here. It is only funny if you know the Congressman, his JDate profile (he did not meet his wife by opening up his dating matrix, he met her the old fashioned way), and his dorkery, particularly his habit of handing out combs when you meet him. And do you think he would disappoint those needing coiffuring on his big day? Hell no. I have it from a reliable source that he indeed handed out combs - special white combs.

However, even funnier is Stephen Colbert badgering him about pornography, which can be found here.

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