Los Angeles is America’s burger capital. I pointed this fact out to Ricky Tokyo as I was in New York over the weekend eating, curiously, almost exclusively burgers. Ricky Tokyo scoffed at the mere thought, but fact is fact and anyone who tries to tell you differently is, like Tokyo, a New Yorker.

And I’m not an L.A. partisan. In fact, when I go back to New York, my friends say, “welcome home.” Hell, when people ask me where I’m from, I say New York, even though I’ve lived in Los Angeles longer than I have in the Big Apple.

But truth is truth; Los Angeles is the place to be to eat burgers. So it was strange that I left L.A. to spend a weekend in Manhattan, to eat burgers for most of my unwedding related meals. It’s sort of like visiting Hong Kong and eating steak all trip long (which happened once to me, too, but I was just wee back then, not old enough to assert my preferences).

See, on a four day trip, I had three burgers:

Shake Shack: Danny Meyer’s modern, stainless steel burger/shake stand in Madison Square Park boasts a pretty killer burger. Good patty to bun ratio, which is the hallmark of a great burger, and the bun pretty much melts in your mouth, dissolving with the juices from the patty.

For street food, it’s pretty magnificent. I couldn’t handle a milkshake as we were on the way to Plug Uglies for beer, but I hear they are pretty great too. Apparently they have lines like Pink’s; thankfully, we were there when it was sort of drizzley outside. There’s a webcam on their website to help you time your visits.

As an aside: are these casual gourmet roadside food stands, like Shake Shack and Tom Colicchio’s ‘wichcraft stands in Bryant Park, the new trend in restauranting? What’s the over/under for Boloud’s croque-monsieur et madame stand? Or Matsuhisa’s bento box stand? And will someone please get Crispy Melt Canoe to reopen as a stand?

Les Halles: I had just seen “Anthony Bourdain in Beirut,” which I found to be a touching reflection on the healing powers of food. Anyway, a solid mid-level French bistro is something that L.A. fails miserably at so I had to stop by Les Halles for some comfort food. I was thinking moules frites, tripe provencale, etc, but Ricky Tokyo had been talking about their Hamburger Rossini for the previous day and twisted my arm enough to order it. That, and a bloody mary to snap out of the hangover from the night before.

The burger was magical. I got mine rare and it was sort of like eating steak tartare with a crust. Not only is the burger served with a slice of foie gras terrine, Les Halles further gilds the lily with a little truffle jus on the side. All I wanted to do after eating was nap, but alas, no - there was a wedding to go to and more burgers to eat!

Wedding Reception: It was catered with items you might find at a gourmet barbeque - kebabs, grilled chicken, orzo salad, and…mini cheese burgers.

They were delightful; sort of like White Castle, but infintely better, with real beef and cheese and these precious slices of kosher pickles. I had two, even though I had just had the Les Halles burger a few hours ago and dinner was just a few minutes ahead, where I would end up choosing the filet mignon with red wine sauce, potatoes au gratin, and chard, rather than the more sensible halibut with buerre blanc.

By the time I back to L.A., my body was cow’d out. So maybe New York’s got some burger action happening but L.A. is still the epicenter of hot ass burger action. And please, don’t get all prideful and indignant that your hometown isn’t the burger capital (or that the burger was invented in Wisconsin). I’m sure all’y'all have good burgers where you live. It’s just that there are cities that are for a specific kind of fast food.

New York has pizza. Chicago’s got the hot dog on lockdown. Philly’s got cheesesteak.

Los Angeles just happens to have burgers. In no particular order and obviously inexhaustive:

In n Out
Astro Burger (Mary Milan and Hillary Swank’s favorite)
Fat Burger
Apple Pan
Father’s Office
The Counter
Library Ale House
Bob’s Big Boy (Drew Carey’s favorite)
The Hungry Cat
Pie N Burger
Tommy’s (Joey Jerusalem’s favorite)
Mo’s Mo Better Meaty Meat Burgers
Ford’s Filling Station
Cassell’s
Literati II
And lest we forget that the horror of McDonald’s (and the fast food nation it gave birth to) calls Southern California its home.

• BROWSE / IN TIMELINE
• « yatta!
• » crazy like a fox

• BROWSE / IN NYvsLA food mary milan recommendations
• « anti-cell phone in spirit
• » dun-dun-dun-dun!