mary milan and i took in Superman Returns last night. Ho hum. I can’t quite tell if it’s Superman (the character), “Superman” (Brandon Routh), Superman (the filmmaking), all three, or that this movie is just another example of the sad state of the summer slates that have been plaguing us for the past few years.

I used to get excited for the summer movie season, ticking off the days until the new blockbuster came out, like a year in advance. For the past few summers, I’ve been going to see the summer tentpoles out of habit. And that sucks. I want the mindless summer entertainments to be fun and breezy and blow me away, but no, they’ve all left me cold - and not in a breezy blown away way. I don’t know how many times I’ve caught myself thinking about halfway through the movie, “Damn, I wish I were watching Armageddon right now.”

Anyway, so yeah, Superman Returns left me cold. It tries to have its cake and eat it too with regard to the older films which creates a fair amount of cognitive dissonance through the movie. To be fair, when Singer hits a note that resonates with the Donner films, he really hits it out of the…uh, concert hall. For example, the opening credit sequence and the tenor of the hijinks between Lex Luthor and his gal pal is just right. However, Lex Luthor’s grand plan for global domination, while in line with the Donner movies, is totally lame.  The domestic drama is played out nicely at times, but at other times, Superman comes off as a pervey stalker.

Also, I don’t know what’s going on with all this Jesus shit in Hollywood these days. Superman Returns could be the D.C. comics treatment of The Passion of the Christ crossbred with a little Last Temptation of Christ and some Da Vinci Code for good measure.

Damn, I wish I was watching Armageddon right now.

When the hell is Snakes on a Plane coming out?