Each Oscar season, Carmen Santa Rosa, my “manager” and all around girl about the biz, make plans to get together for the big show. Invariably, our plans fall apart because she has parties to attend. And every year, she wins our friendly wagers on who will take home those little golden men.
I’ve smartened up this year: there are no plans to see each other on “Hollywood’s biggest night” (I had always thought that Hollywood’s biggest night was July 4th weekend) and our traditional wager has not been made (because we can’t afford it in Mary Milan’s household budget).
But if you want to win your office pool, here are Carmen Santa Rosa’s Oscar predictions, plus my commentary (her predictions are italicized):
BEST PICTURE
Brokeback Mountain - Focus Features
Capote - Sony Pictures Classics
Crash (aka: Grand Canyon II) - Lions Gate
Good Night, & Good Luck - WIP
Munich - Universal
I don’t disagree with her though there is a big part of me that wants Grand Canyon II: Electric Boogaloo to avenge its father’s non-best picture nomination back in 1991 (”Crash, I am your father!!”). James Newton Howard’s best score and that opening sequence with the showtime Lakers? That was dope.
BEST DIRECTOR
George Clooney - Good Night, And Good Luck
Paul Haggis - Crash
Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain
Bennett Miller - Capote
Steven Spielberg - Munich
Ang Lee is winning this mofo for the tribe! China in d’hizzy. Also, he had the foresight to have a high V.C.Q. in the film which obviously is the standard everyone should follow to ensure quality filmmaking. I can’t wait for my Ang Lee and V.C. prizes to come in the mail.
Do bitches just vote for Spielberg out of habit? If Paul Haggis wins, he should give his award to Lawrence Kasdan. I wonder if Paul has ever eaten Haggis. Would that be like surnamibalism?
BEST ACTOR
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Terrence Howard - Hustle & Flow
Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain
Joaquin Phoenix - Walk The Line
David Strathairn - Good Night. And, Good Luck
Woof woof! I’ve made my thoughts about this pretty clear about this category.
BEST ACTRESS
Judi Dench - Mrs. Henderson Presents
Felicity Huffman - Transamerica
Keira Knightly - Pride & Prejudice
Charlize Theron - North Country
Reese Witherspoon - Walk The Line
Countdown to the Philliperspoon divorce will kick into high gear this Sunday. I can just imagine the conversation Monday morning:
RP: Goddamn the phone is ringing off the hook and it all offers for you! It’s pounding my brain! I’m an actor too! Moreover, I’m a HUMAN BEING! I was in Cruel Intentions, byatch! Way of the Gun!
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Dillon - Crash
George Clooney - Syriana
Paul Giamatti - Cinderella Man
Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain
William Hurt - A History of Violence
This is sort of a weird category and I’m not quite sure why she went with Paul Giamatti. I’m with the folks who say that Clooney will win because he got fat for a role.
In twenty years, my bet is that American Idol hopeful Taylor Hicks will play the title role in The Facts of my Life, the George Clooney musical biopic that will be on during sweeps week on CBS.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams - Junebug
Catherine Keener - Capote
Frances McDormand - North Country
Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Michelle Williams - Brokeback Mountain
Another weird one. I haven’t seen Drug Companies are Hella Bad but since I didn’t like City of God, my prediction is for Catherine Keener. This is why Carmen Santa Rosa is better at this game than I am. She sees EVERYTHING and she is a stone cold prognosticator, not allowing her personal biases interfere with their visions. This is why, while I am a lifetime member of the Psychic Friends, I’ll always be in the junior varsity.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Match Point - Woody Allen
The Squid & The Whale - Noah Baumbach
Good Night. And, Good Luck - George Clooney, Grant Heslov
Syriana - Stephen Gaghan
Crash - Paul Haggis, Robert Moresco
Why is Grand Canyon II nominated for best original screenplay? I might go for it in Best adapted screenplay category.
If this award is actually about the BEST ORIGINAL screenplay, I’d say that Syriana should win because it’s so unapologetic about breaking so many tried and true screenwriting rules (particularly the rule that a script should treat its audience like children).
Seeing as to how Grand Canyon II’s inclusion in the category makes it about something other than being original, I gotta support the V.C. (Vassar clique to all y’all who don’t know) and go with Noah Baumbach’s The Squid & The Whale.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Constant Gardener - Jeffrey Caine
Capote - Dan Futterman
Munich - Tony Kushner, Eric Roth
Brokeback Mountain - Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana
A History Of Violence - Josh Olson
In case you forgot that Larry McMurtry is a hoss of a writer, he took a story by one of my least favorite writers and with Diana Ossana, turned it into one the most elegant screenplays of recent memory.
Word.
Gay sheepherders.
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johnnyhongkong says… » hello, hellay added these pithy words on Nov 05 06 at 2:54 pm[…] From Oscar Predix, Comin’Atcha!: Countdown to the Philliperspoon divorce will kick into high gear this Sunday. I can just imagine the conversation Monday morning: […]
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