Mary Milan and I watched the Grammys tonight and we have exactly two cents to add to the post event discussion:

My one cent: Can Mariah Carey, just for once in her life, sing like a normal person? Fine. She’s got an out of this world vocal range.

I. Don’t. Care. Go sing on Jupiter. I had the feeling that I was watching Mya Rudolph on an SNL skit.

While we’re on the topic of her performance, I have to say that for my money (or eternal soul, as the case may be), a gospel choir is one of the best arguments for believing in God as I can’t think of a better way to spend my Sundays in the football offseason than listening to a gospel choir sing.

Mary Milan’s one cent: “Dammit, who the hell fed Sly Stone after midnight?” Here a graphical If/Then statement help elucidate for you youngsters:

If = ,

Then = .
And you can forget your East/West rap battles. Mary Milan officially fired the first salvo tonight in the Midwest (Chicago-Wisconsin) rap war when she said, “Kanye bores me.”

Dang.

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